My husband works five days a week and only showers on weekends. By the middle of the week, he smells, but whenever I bring it up, he just shrugs and says he’s too tired after work.
We’ve been married for about a year and a half. Early on, I didn’t fully notice because our schedules were opposite, and he changed clothes often, so it wasn’t obvious. But once I started working from home, I realized he was only showering once a week.
At first, I tried to ignore it. I dropped hints instead of saying it directly because I didn’t want to sound rude. But after he got a physically demanding day job, it became much harder to ignore. He’d come home sweaty and still not shower.
When I got pregnant, I finally talked to him openly and asked if he could shower at least three times a week. He seemed to agree, and for a while I thought the problem was solved.
But after the baby was born, he went right back to the same routine.
Now he comes home sweaty, changes clothes, and immediately picks up our 2-month-old without showering. That really bothers me—not just because of the smell, but because I worry about hygiene and our baby.
I eventually snapped and called him gross, which I regret. We both apologized later. When I asked why he only showers once a week, he said he doesn’t want to “wash off his manliness.” I was honestly stunned.
I’ve tried being calm, direct, and understanding, but he keeps brushing it off. Last night, I saw visible flakes of dirt and dead skin on his back when he took off his shirt, and I nearly gagged. I told him this isn’t just about smell anymore—it’s unhealthy—but he still acted like I was overreacting.
At this point, I don’t know if I’m asking for too much, but I really don’t think basic hygiene is an unreasonable request.
